John de Grazia

Notes:

John de Grazia, long-time Princeton resident, died at home of natural causes on Sept. 30, 2020.
John was born in 1951 in Providence, RI, the fifth of seven children born to Alfred de Grazia, a professor who was teaching at Brown University at the time, and his wife Jill Oppenheim de Grazia. When John was two, the family moved to California, where his father would teach at Stanford. When he was five, the family settled in Princeton in the “Captain’s House” at 306 Nassau Street after his father began teaching at New York University. John went to Nassau Street School, Witherspoon School, then Princeton High School, where he was a member of the class of ’69, and briefly attended Rutgers. By then, the family had moved to 16 Linden Lane, where John was to live until the house was sold in the late 1980s. For a while after that, he had a nomadic existence, sometimes riding his bicycle to Florida in the winter, where he lived at times on a Seminole reservation. In 2018, he moved into Elm Court, where he lived until his death.
John was blessed from birth with beauty and brains, which if nurtured might have carried him far in a conventional sense. Historical and familial circumstances, especially those of the 1960s and early 70s, mitigated against this. After 1964, his family scattered, then his parents divorced. The seven siblings reunited only once more, in 1996 at their mother’s funeral.
Like many young people of the 1960s and early 70s, John struggled to find his way. He was always passionate about nature, both plants and animals, and for a time worked to convert that into a profession as a tree surgeon. His deep feeling for the natural world comes out in the many photographs and videos he posted on his Facebook page, including those of ”Helen the Heron”, whom he befriended along the Delaware-Raritan canal by scattering breadcrumbs that attracted her favorite food – fish. His images of flowering bushes and trees of Princeton were posted by the hundreds, and he treasured the many ‘likes’ they elicited. He particularly enjoyed the springtime glory of the Callery pear trees on Witherspoon Street, for which he claimed some credit, and from this spring, he captured a truly spectacular hydrangea on Chestnut Street. John was also keenly aware of environmental issues affecting his hometown and among other causes vigorously supported the efforts to preserve the old Hamilton Street quarry - now a park - from development.
Early in life, John had channeled his creative energies into construction, focusing mainly on his Linden Lane house, and later he worked through a series of inventive ideas. He was drawn to the university, and for many years had a one-man cottage industry that manufactured Tiger Tale pennants out of plush. These he peddled off his bicycle especially during the football season, at least one of his beloved shaggy dogs trailing close behind. John’s creativity also extended to the kitchen, where he was an enthusiastic cook, unafraid of experimentation.
When the Princeton Public Library began to expand its computer facilities for library patrons, John became a regular, putting in a full day’s work on various research projects, with breaks to meet up with friends and acquaintances in Hind’s Plaza or at Panera’s. John was absorbed by his family’s background. On his father’s side, he delved into Sicilian and Italian history, while on his mother’s, he explored stories of European Jewish communities. For his nephews, he wrote about the Seminole tribe in Florida he had come to know in his winter excursions south.
As the pandemic took hold, John turned to studying the grim news of illness and death. In early spring he wrote: “Just a few months ago, I was saying, ‘Another day in paradise.’ Now, I'm saying, ‘Where did the world go?’” He noted with sadness the toll it had taken on his town, including his favorite, Panera’s, which closed for good in May.
Where ordinary ties of family had been sundered in John’s life, the Princeton community filled in, people of kindness, wisdom, generosity, and patience, whether at the library, social services, Elm Court, the Princeton police, or friends and acquaintances in person and online. John posted regularly and energetically on Facebook and was an enthusiastic contributor to “I Grew Up in Princeton”. The affection and interest shown by his friends helped to sustain him. They gave him a sense of place and purpose in life, that he was appreciated, easing his struggles, smoothing his journey.
John was pre-deceased by his parents and all of his brothers: Paul (d. 2015), Chris (d. 2019), and Carl (d. 2000). He is survived by his stepmother Ami de Grazia; sisters Cathy, Vicky, and Jessie; sisters-in-law Shivano and Karen; six nieces and nephews, and seven grandnieces and nephews.

Alfred married Bertha Jill Oppenheim 11 May 1942, , Cook, Illinois, United States; divorced Yes, date unknown. Bertha (daughter of Jesse Paul Oppenheim, Senior and Essie Lauterbach) was born 24 Feb 1919, New York City, New York, New York, United States; died 17 Sep 1996. [Group Sheet]

Notes:

age 11/12 according to U.S. 1920 Census

Alfred married Catherine Lupo Cardinale 29 Nov 1916, Chicago, Cook, Illinois, United States. Catherine was born 13 Jan 1896, Chicago, Cook, Illinois, United States; died 26 Nov 1983, Princeton, Mercer, New Jersey, United States; was buried , Princeton Memorial Park, Robbinsville Township, Mercer, New Jersey, United States. [Group Sheet]

Jesse married Essie Lauterbach 21 Dec 1908, New York City, New York, New York, United States. Essie (daughter of Isaac Lauterbach and Pauline Rossman) was born 24 Jul 1882, New York City, New York, New York, United States; died 25 Apr 1936, New York City, New York, New York, United States; was buried 27 Apr 1936, Washington Cemetery, Brooklyn, Kings, New York, United States. [Group Sheet]

Notes:

Born Feb 1885 according to U.S. 1900 Census

Died at age 53; at home, 138 West 88th Street

Essie Lauterbach was the mainstay of my mother Bertha Jill Lauterbach. Jill suffered from schizophrenia, and her memories of Essie calmed her in the worst of times. I was always whispering her name to calm my mother.
Left by John DeGrazia on 8 Jul 2019

Notes:

at Savoy Hotel by Rabbi Rudolph Grossman of Temple Rodeph Sholom; witnesses were Maurice Cohen [uncle of groom] and Aaron Lauterbach

Notes:

Born Jun 1845 in Poland according to 1900 U.S. Census

Neustadt, Suwalki, Poland was then part of the Russian Empire

Died at 67 years, 7 months and 26 days at home, 286 Central Park West

Manuel married Bertha Cohen Cal 1876, New York City, New York, New York, United States. Bertha (daughter of Bernard Cohen and Fannie Steinhart) was born 8 Jul 1854, , , Wisconsin, United States; died 7 Jun 1917, New York City, New York, New York, United States; was buried 10 Jun 1917, Washington Cemetery, Brooklyn, Kings, New York, United States. [Group Sheet]

Notes:

Born May 1852 according to 1900 U.S. Census

third child born 1885?

15 Apr 1910 according to U.S. 1910 Census had 4 children, 2 living

Died at age 62 years, 10 months and 29 days at Flower Hospital

Notes:

1 Jan 1920 resided with daughter, Essie Lauterbach,
son-in-law, Jesse Paul Oppenheim and family

Isaac married Pauline Rossman 20 Jan 1870, New York City, New York, New York, United States. Pauline was born Feb 1851, , , New York, United States; died Bef 1 Jan 1920. [Group Sheet]